Me 28 F with my friend that is oldest 32 M: i am unsure this relationship is healthier anymore.
Ben and I also met on line over 10 years ago, through a friend that is mutual. At first, things were flirtatious occasionally (as young teens could be), so we played during the concept of an extended distance relationship|distance that is long a few of that time period over time, but things have not gotten “serious”. On the amount of this relationship, we now have talked more than we now haven’t, and typically for a basis that is daily. So long that he lives in another country, I have never met him as I have known him, he has suffered from crippling depression, insomnia and social anxiety; because of this, and the fact.
This is actually the year than I haven’t that I will have known Ben for more time. We’ve been through a whole lot, both together as well as in our split life. He’s ( appears like) a fixture that is permanent my entire life, which can be a bittersweet belief that I’m certain is the close (read: just) confidant of somebody along with his psychological status can realize. Every so often, this relationship is extraordinarily draining, and I also feel he has got grown to “need” me personally in the life. Although We have done the things I can to encourage him to get specialized help, he declines and I also’m nearly yes why. We sincerely be concerned about where/how he is if I becamen’t around.
As you would expect, emotions allow us towards me personally, however they are perhaps maybe maybe not shared. I have made this clear on numerous occasions. I’ve had several serious and relationships that are long-term the program of our relationship, along with the exclusion associated with start of your relationship We have maybe not seen Ben as more than. He, on the other hand, just one short-term relationship (ironically or perhaps not, with that stocks the exact same title as me personally) which ended extremely defectively, and has now not a lot of friendships. He will not earnestly date. Although ladies compliment him and regularly approach him, he doesn’t typically engage them.
Over time, he has got provided gifts that are many birthdays and breaks.
They usually have maybe not been always “extravagant”, but constantly extremely thoughtful and above-and-beyond the things I could ever expect of anybody. He saves almost every picture of on their phone (i really believe i am really the wallpaper on their phone at this time), and truly cherishes anything I give him. In the last couple of years, I’ve had a growing concern that this relationship, just as much as it will help him deal with a large amount of the negative aspects in the life by me personally being their “rock”, in addition it could be keeping him straight straight right back from experiencing more from their own life. I would personally love from that, and I believe he will continue to have these feelings as long as we are still talking for him to meet someone, but I’m afraid his feelings towards me will keep him.
We just want for him, but i am unsure simple tips to steer this ship anymore. Personally I think like if we had been to inquire of him about this, he will be harmed, self-deprecating and struggling to provide me personally a genuine solution.
TLDR: long-lasting buddy with serious social/mental battles has unrequited emotions for me personally. Is our relationship keeping him right back from their very very own individual development, or perhaps is my consistent existence in their life a good thing?
Lena The Plug Web Worth, Private Lifestyle, Profession, Boyfriend, Biography
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